3 stress-free techniques to defend your design work

You got into design to create things. You derive joy from crafting and delivering beautiful experiences to customers. And yet now that you're in the tech trenches, you find that 80% of your time is spent defending your designs unsuccessfully against critiques from developers and product managers.

Perhaps the environment feels tense and your anxiety is through the roof from all the verbal combat. Maybe you feel blocked and nervous as your work is being savagely critiqued by deadly developers and primeval product managers.

Well, good news: it doesn't have to be like this.

You're not alone and we all feel the stress of design critiques but there are simple ways you can eliminate that pain and turn it into something beneficial.

Here are three simple, immediate hacks you can implement to stop suffering so much during these encounters:

I. Reframe

What does the term defending imply? That you're being attacked. But are you actually being attacked? Or are people simply trying to provide feedback to you to help you create something feasible that will resonate with customers?

The vast majority of the time it's the latter. So the first thing you should do is observe and check your thoughts. Are they accurate? Are they helpful?

But wait, if you're not being attacked then you can't be defending. So what are you actually doing in these encounters?

You're teaching. Developers and product managers are not designers. Use the feedback sessions to teach them about design: the design process, but also what makes an interface usable, visually appealing, desirable to customers.

You're also exploring. Non-design stakeholders bring a lot of useful knowledge to bear through their feedback. They might be able to suggest ideas that you wouldn't have thought of on your own. Lean into their feedback and explore the solution space with them.

And finally, you're building relationships. Does it ever feel like someone is giving you arbitrary feedback simply to satisfy their ego and make their mark on your app app?

Wait a second... why does that bother you? Could it be your ego possibly?

Let them make their mark on the app and use that as an opportunity to build a virtuous cycle of reciprocity built on trust, respect, and influence. That's also known as building relationships and is absolutely crucial for your success as a designer.

II. Pre-empt

When you present a design, ideally all your stakeholders will have seen it and weighed in beforehand. You'll have pulled them into the process so you can surface their motivations and constraints. You'll have built relationships with them so they trust that you're hearing them and have their best interests at heart. And when you finally pull the trigger, the delta between your vision and theirs will be small enough that you can bridge it without massive amounts of stress and time pressure.

Figure out what stakeholders have to be convinced, aligned with, or informed for you to succeed. Write them down under those headings. And frequently check in with the ones who have to be convinced, without whom your design work will be stalled out and die. Weekly or more often is a good idea.

People who tend to fall into the first category are tech leads, product managers, and design leadership (if you're working at a large enough company).

Check in with these folks regularly. Even if it's just touching base briefly or sharing work in progress, staying connected will prevent misalignment from proliferating until things completely come apart.

III. Detach

I'm a big fan of Epictetus. In fact, I read Epictetus every single day. More importantly, I try to apply his philosophy to the strains and struggles of daily living. Including, you guessed it, design reviews.

One of the fundamental lessons Epictetus wanted to impart upon his students is the dichotomy of control. You control your thoughts. You control how you frame things. You control how thoughtfully you prepare for design reviews, the time you spend building relationships with your team, and the amount of effort you put into crafting a high-quality experience.

But you do not control your team. You don't directly control what they think of you or your designs. You probably don't even have control over the final look and feel of the UI. A lot of our stress comes from feeling like our beautiful design was robbed from us by stakeholders who don't understand what we do.

That feeling is based on a fundamental illusion. Our designs never belonged to us to start with: they belonged to the team. How you design and who you are as a designer inalienably belongs to you. So focus relentlessly on those things and let go of what you can't control. That's the path to freedom.